Jesus said, the thief comes only to kill, steal and destroy but I have come that they may have life more abundant (John 10:10).
20 years ago I wanted to end my life because I felt I was merely existing. Long story short God came into my life and now I know what Zoe-fullness of life is. You may have a great life without Jesus but with Him it'll be that much fuller. That's why He came.
God bless you my friend! Know that you are loved and prayed for. Have an awesome Monday!