Last week I introduced the word oikos (like the Greek yogurt). Oikos is a Greek word meaning house or household. But it’s not talking about a building. It’s talking about the relational aspect of those living within a household, group or community. Oikos is where we get our English word eco. Ecology or eco-friendly is talking about relational systems.
 
Four Types of Relationships
When talking about human relationships, there are four types (everyone has these): Acquaintance; Casual friend; Close friend; Best friend.

1. Acquaintance – This is a person you just met or know but are not really good friends with. We can gain new acquaintances daily without realizing it and even more if we are looking for it. Acquaintance starts simply with a smile or small talk. 
2. Casual friend – Casual friendships have a relational element involved. This could be the people you work with that you see, talk to, and are around every day. It could be the people in your classroom, church, sports team, etc. But even in these settings you may see more acquaintance type of relationships than casual friendships. 
3. Close friend – These are the people you have something in common with. “Commonality” is the difference between close and casual. Yes, you can be on the same team (that’s commonality), but not everyone on the team is a close friend. In the church, we all have Jesus in common and we’re learning to love and care for each other, but even here, not everyone is a close friend. A “kindred spirit” is a person whose interests and attitudes are similar to yours. Kindred spirits (or close friends) are people who know you and understand you. You find it relaxing, enjoyable and empowering to be with these people. 
4. Best friend – Best friends are the people you have much in common with and have learned to share the deeper secrets with. There is no need for bragging, lying or acting like you’re someone else; your best friend will know when you’re doing so. A best friend is hard to find. Because we have been hurt and abandoned in the past it is hard to reestablish best friendships over and over. As you get older its harder to find best friends that’s why spouses are usually best friends. 

Oikos = Trust
Relationships don’t just happen. Trust plays a huge part in relational development. The closer you get in relationships the more trust is needed. That’s why relationships grow through time. We need to understand that even in the church, relational development takes time. Not everyone will be in your inner circle nor will you be in everyone’s inner circle. And that may change through time. But just as Jesus had His inner circle of Peter, James and John, I wonder how that made the others feel? I wonder if the three had a chip on their shoulder because of that. All of this is part of understanding oikos. Oikos has a lot to do with church and making disciples. 
 
We will be hearing more about oikos in the weeks ahead.

Last week we talked about the Hawaiian word Ohana. Ohana means family. “Family” in Hawaii is not just speaking about blood relatives. It goes well beyond that into our circle of influence and relationships. The word “household” is used often in the New Testament and is closely related to our “Ohana” concept. The Bible speaks a lot about family. In fact, if we were to sum up all the commandments, we would see that everything points us to relationships. Remember the two greatest commandments (Matthew 22:37-40)? 
 
The Greek word for “household” is Oikos. This is where we get our English word ecology from… Eco (oikos – “house”) – Ology (study of). Ecology is the study of the relationships between living organisms, including humans, and their physical environment. Our English Bible translations will use a few different words in the place of oikos: home, house, household, family. Quite often oikos can extend to our relationship with friends, workers or neighbors. In the same way the word “church” is not speaking about a building, oikos is not speaking of a house (i.e., structure, dwelling, building), but rather speaks about the relational aspect of the people we are close to. On one occasion, Jesus was teaching His disciples and His mother and brothers were waiting outside. Someone told Jesus your mother and brothers are outside. He looked at the people sitting around Him and said you are my mothers and brothers and sisters… In other words, you are my oikos. (Mark 3:31-35).
 
Stay with me! Don't let all this Greek frighten you off! The concept of oikos is extremely important to understand when it comes to evangelism. 
 
Michael Green, one of our leading evangelists of our day, in his book, “Evangelism in the Early Church”, observes how the New Testament church enthusiastically clung to the oikos principle as its primary strategy to advance the gospel. Early Christians quickly understood that when the message of faith was heard and demonstrated by friends and family, receptiveness to the gospel increased rapidly. That’s why hospitality, integrity and being people of peace is so vitally important for the Christian. These traits build oikos and it’s usually the people we are in association with that “see our good works” and begin to praise our Father in heaven (Mt 5:16).
 
Your oikos usually consists of up to 15 people. These are people you speak to on a regular basis and have a comfortable relationship with (co-workers, neighbors, friends, family). These are the ones who hear you, watch your actions and see Jesus working in your life. They are the ones, more than the stranger on the street, that will be open to hearing how Jesus has impacted your life. These people know you and have grown to trust you. 
 
In the same way the early church understood and used the oikos concept to spread the good news of Jesus, it would be good for us to take some time tolook into this as well. 
 
More on oikos next week. Some verses to check out: Lk 8:39, 19:9; Jn 4:53; Acts 11:14, 16:15, 31-34, 18:8; 1 Co 1:11, 16